In the hardest video I’ve ever had to make exposing my shame into light, you see me criticizing myself in the mirror. It was all about body image.
Body image has been something I’ve been dealing with negatively for most of my life. I’ve fought about my diet with my parents before among many things (eastern vs western culture clashes, me wanting to go to arts school, etc etc.). I struggled with food addiction in secret and in pain. I struggled with the need to find worth in the amount of mileage I ran, the intensity of my workouts, how well I followed a meal plan.
I’m past that, and actively shedding these old layers of mind-illusions I’ve innocently played into. It’s been so, so painful and so, so humbling. I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve cried, cried, and cried; ate, ate, and ate over it. It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever had to deal with in this lifetime.
While I’m making an active effort to read less personal/spiritual development books now (there’s a difference between information vs transformation; the latter requires you to integrate what you’ve learnt/read), I have found one text in particular to be extremely soothing and helpful in disillusioning myself from all the conditionning. It’s called, A Course In Miracles. It’s helped me significantly with body image, dealing with weight gain, feeling fat, and obsessive thoughts about food/exercise. It is applicable to ANYONE AND EVERYONE no matter where they are in life or what they’re going through. It’s a universal text I highly recommend everyone read.
My favourite author, Gabby Bernstein often quotes from the text (especially in Miracles Now and The Universe Has Your Back<—one of the best books I’ve ever read) in all her teachings. After going through the course once, I’ve found a quieter mind, a greater sense of peace and a new way of looking at things in an unimaginable way. I’ve never experienced my binges, addiction relapses, depressive thinking, anxiety, and relationship with my body the same way. The Course is easy to access (just google it). It’s a channeled message. It’s a metaphysical text.
Each day there’s a different “affirmation”/lesson with a scripture to read and ingrain in your mind.
To keep myself accountable, every other Wednesday I meet with my ACIM book club for 40 minutes on zoom to rehash the last 14 days’ lessons, and discuss a certain theme (i.e. forgiveness, illusions, etc) with the group to talk out. I highly recommend doing it in a group setting for accountability and to hash out any thoughts that the mind has going through it.
Quotes I have found healing in particular for body image:
I hope, hope, hope you find these helpful. If you’re in search of other resources on your journey, comments below (email me at firstname.lastname@example.org or DM me on instagram!) and I can share with you videos, resources, and the book clubs I’m in.
Choose love over fear, dear one.