I’m Having Trouble Sleeping…

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I think something that fitness influencers (and it’s not always as glamorous as you think; the job of being one!) don’t talk about very often on their channels is the importance of sleep. I certainly see a lot of (great) motivating posts about exercise and nutrition, people’s stories of their journeys. And I think that’s great! Something I’d like to highlight is the thing that gets us to exercise and eat right in the first place…

Something I’ve been having trouble with…Sleep.

I can’t fall asleep. It’s like my brain and body are ready for slumber, but won’t turn off.

Every night, I even send a little prayer to the heavens; “Angels, take me to dreamland.”

sleepy collage post show

Sleepy post show back in high school

I tried eating fats right before bed.

I tried eating protein right before bed.

I tried even EATING CARBS, for heaven’s sake!

No avail.

I couldn’t sleep very well–I kept tossing and turning and feeling hot. I woke up nearly in a sweat with my heart pounding in my chest. I’m very intuitive with my body and I can sense blood glucose levels being high or low–and they were high that morning.

It’s gotten to the point where the madness drives me out of bed, and out of sheer bordem, I just start eating. And eating. and eating. Until I know I can pass out from the food coma–I JUST WANT TO SLEEP. And I can’t stand lying another second in bed. I’m going to go crazy.

This isn’t a habit that helps with my waistline, nor one that advocates food sobriety, coming from my background with bingeing.

No More Overeating_Bingeing

The holistic life is made up with mind, body, and soul. I’ve tried addressing the body through nutrition. I’m constantly working on my mindset. I’m thinking that these other things maybe hindering my sleep, and it may be that:

  1. Spirit wants me to learn how to be kind and patient to myself–to learn this lesson through no sleep. Thus, really humbling me in a lowered performance in my day to day life.
  2. Could it also be that I’m very restless with life, being that there is a lack of networking events for my extroverted mind, and a lack of places to travel for my wanderlusting heart. If there’s one thing this lockdown has made me realize, it;s that I;;m way to young to live a life as miserable as this. I’m not saying my life is entirely bad, gloom and doom, but I know that I have a capacity to feel deeper, experience more, and open my heart. And that…that lies with travel. I will never forget my experience in Vancouver. My eye is looking at Scandinavian countries, starting with Denmark–the city of Hygge! (the art of being cozy)hyggesource
  3. It could also be that I may be low in serotonin? Lack of serotonin makes for low, unhappy moods during the day(and is a HUGE proponent to binge eating!) and no melatonin during the night (serotonin converts to melatonin throughout the day, and melatonin is what helps you sleep). I feel like my lack of joy in my day to day job, as much as I try to cultivate gratitude, makes my moods blue, why I feel a lack of energy sometimes. My heart feels like there must be more to life than this mundane, day to day thing.

There HAVE been a few days of really great sleep; I can’t tell if it’s because it’s sleep debt–my body being so exhausted and thirsty for dreams and good recovery that it just…did its job, or if I actually did something different. For example, I distinctly remember waking up from the most beautiful slumber after a night I spent catching up with a friend at their house. We chatted, joked around, and just sat on the couch. I woke up in such HIGH VIBES, I felt refreshed mentally and physically to SMASH my workout. And I couldn’t stop smiling all day at work too! I went the extra mile to chat with people coming in the store, asking for supplements advice. Another day, I went to visit a friend downtown and we co-worked at a Starbucks by Harbourfront, a beautiful area by the lake in Toronto. Oh, it felt SO REFRESHING to be by nature, to see her again, so get some work done on my computer in a NEW environment! The daylight was nourishing me; I felt like a Sunflower being  kissed by the sun. I slept like a baby that night.

Two things stands out to me; both days I spent with a friend; being social may have elevated my mood. Being with nature may have done the trick too.

One thing’s for sure–something is up mentally/emotionally/spiritually and i’m determined to find out what. Meanwhile, I will continue to try out taking a sleep supplement (it has magnesium, melatonin and GABA in it) to see how it fares. I’ll also say that I’ll start my bedtime routine around 8pm, given that the sun is starting to set earlier and earlier. I think I’ll start with some walking or stretching.

I’m getting delirious. I’ll keep journaling, implementing self-care and kindness throughout this journey and wait for a spiritual answer. I know this all seems super WOO-WOO like Linda, come on–you need to be doing something more active than just praying it out. I know–I have those doubts too.

I’m trusting my heart on this. No sleep clinic, sleep meds or anything yet. I pray it doesn’t get to that point. There’s something to be gained here for me; I just haven’t figured it out yet. I’m waiting for the answer to present itself to me.

Please keep me in your prayers.


Do you have trouble staying or falling asleep? Can you sleep on demand, anywhere and everywhere? Do you take supplements for sleep? What’s your night time routine?