Something that’s struck me, especially as an empath, is the difference between concern versus care. We can care for someone without having concern, and we can have concern without true care.
Grab your heart and close your eyes. Which feels more expansive: care, or concern?
There’s a difference between care versus concern. Concern comes from a low-vibrational energy. It comes from fear; it comes from the belief that “something’s wrong with you/me/them.” Whereas in care comes from thoughtfulness. The former says, “you need to change, because this is unacceptable. You need fixing.” whereas the latter says, “I really love you just the way you are.”
The thing is, if you want to be there for someone, you need to show care instead of concern. In order for them to heal whatever it is they’re going through, they need themselves, and their support group (aka you) to embrace and love them JUST AS THEY ARE. However imperfect, messy, or “wrong” it may seem. By showing unconditional love for all aspects of being human, that’s how you heal the pain and darkness.
Isn’t that what unconditional love is? Loving unconditionally. Not only when it’s convenient, or only when you feel it’s appropriate/has your approval. It’s loving what is, in all aspects.
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💦 "I felt hot and sweaty and tired and nauseous all at once. I didn’t know how to stop the uncontrollable anxiety attacks I had and I would lay awake at night, hyperventilating. I couldn’t stand myself. • •• ••• I cried at the fact that underneath all my fat lay other problems, like that my life was a mess–there would be no career for me because my parents didn’t support my love for the creative arts (I didn’t want to be a doctor or lawyer). • •• ••• I felt like a burden to my mother by the way she always looked at me and yet I longed for her love, and despised by my father who look at me like I was garbage on the street. I could see the hate in their eyes and I couldn’t bear it. I cried because I felt that no one loved me, I cried because I felt lost, I cried because I hated who I had become. • •• ••• I cried because my dream art school wasn’t the utopia I had imagined. I didn’t have friends and I rarely got the spotlight, and that crushed me. And I cried because I felt fat. I cried because no one understood my feelings and I had no one to go to. I cried because, on top of it all, food was ruining my life, not helping me." 🌱 🌿🌿 🌱 Continued on "BINGE EATING STORY" link in my bio (linktr.ee/thefitty) 🌱 🌱 🌱 And I've risen above the darkest depths of binge and food addiction. And I found myself, lost myself, and rediscovered an even more expensive, beautiful version of myself throughout this journey… 👉 👉 👉 Leave a 💓 below if you have ever felt any of these feelings before. Send me a message–im here, love.
I know an aspect of myself that I find myself judging, and NOT unconditionally loving, is my past with addiction. It’s a humbling journey, but I can say that doing so with love instead of pushing these feelings away has actually helped my sobriety/recovery journey, and made it a lot more graceful as well.
Do you show up with concern, or care for yourself? How about friends and family?