Notes To Self + The Will of Thy Heart

Hello m’fitties!

I don’t even know what day of the week it is anymore; all the days are blending together.

Throughout these days I’ve been making a conscious effort to go through videos on my playlist that I’ve been meaning to delve into that grow me. I’ll share them with you! After all, a growth mind = better fitness and aesthetics.

Here’s one of the videos and keynote takeaways from Matt Kahn (spiritual thought leader and empathic healer) that I follow!

  • pain and pleasure can COEXIST in one moment. doesn’t have to be either or.
  • for example, you cry so much, you laugh!
  • you feel terrible crying, and yet you’ve never felt so ALIVE. this is so much better than feeling numb, or boredom, which seems to be BETTER than feeling sadness and crying.
  • you don’t decide what happens, but you do decide what you do with what happens
  • “I hope that doesn’t happen” –> why? Do you think that circumstance is more powerful than you?

And now…

These journalings below have been a combination of my own, from books, from friends and podcasts. I found these little sentences of jewel in my notebook the other day; I’m happy to share these words of solace with you.

Sometimes the way I get through my day is by reminding myself that it will end. That period when I couldn’t sell my novel? It came to an end. Those months of bewilderment with a colicky baby? The baby, now ten, stopped crying a long time ago. Things change. Nothing lasts forever. The sun rises, the sun sets. It’s an inevitable, often lovely cycle.

Write down this affirmation: I measure my success by how much fun I’m having. Post it on your desk, mirror, car dashboard, or wherever you can see it often. For the next 40 days (or more), begin your day with this affirmation. Make the conscious commitment to choose joy upon waking. Throughout the day, consciously look for joy in all situations and carve out time for fun.

selfie happy smiling

No matter how busy you are, you can find joy. If you’re an extrovert like me, get together with friends. If you love putting your mind to work, do a crossword puzzle, read a novel or take a cool online course. If you love being outside, have a picnic. It doesn’t matter what you do. All that matters is that you seek joy and have fun. When you do this, you raise your vibration and attract support from the Universe.

Conversation with L:

L: Seems like It, i didn’t hear anything until after 9 last night. I hope I didn’t jinx It by getting too excited… that usually happens to me. Its like the opposite of manifesting.

Me: There’s no back-firing when you’re manifesting. There’s no such thing as jinxing anything. In fact when you get excited about it that’s how you create the magic. So don’t worry about it.

L: But how come the times where i get excited about it, it falls through and don’t get it, and the times where i don’t think about it, don’t care, it works?

Me: Because something is coming.

L: But if i don’t know what that is how can i manifest it?

Me: You manifest everything you want in vibe just by putting the intention out there and feeling good. It’s that simple; the hard part is having faith. You don’t have to know everything. What you know now is more than enough.

L: So how does one know if they are manifesting correctly if the results can be good or bad 50/50?

Me: This is the very question directly represents the amount of confidence and faith you have in your manifesting abilities. The percentage you believe in your ability to manifest is the answer. If you think you can only manifest 80% you will only manifest 80%. If you think you will manifest 15% you only manifest 15%.

L: So what Is faith then?

Me: Having rest and confidence in something. Believing. without seeing.

Conversation with T:

Me: Namaste T! Good work today (from yoga) and looking forward to seeing you for Monday.

T: Haha thanks! That was incredibly challenging but it really opened up my eyes and humbled me. I really need to put in the work!

Me: Remember that where you are right now is perfect., even if you do not progress. One thing I’ve learned in my yoga and journey through life is to have grace in the NOW, and not be attached to outcomes. If you even get the handstand, can you still be happy? There is a beautiful ambition and open headedness you hold; it is a gift that you must not lose. Have this compassion for even your darkest moments. THAT is a strength far greater than mastering any yoga pose.

I know. I hear you. The universe sees your burdens and is ready to take some of that weight. Nothing is handed to you that you cannot handle. You are strong beyond words I can say–and whatever had been wronged will be returned to you, AMPLIFIED.

Focus on keeping 1 small promise to yourself daily. Just one.

This is what I say to myself when I cannot fathom living another day.

On a sleepless night…

I pray for a divine intervention To do for me what I cannot to for myself

To bring me peace, connection, magic, forgiveness and life.

I pray for miracles.

I rely on miracles.

I forgive the start, and chase again.

I let go and let God.

I forgive this action, and chose another one.

I believe in miracles.

I believe in a higher power.

I release judgment.

I release guilt.

I release shame.

I release obligation.

I release fear.

I asked for a higher power to help me with this process.

I call upon the highest, divine, loving presence to help me turn obstacles/setbacks into fast forwards.

Help me weld this darkness into light.


    1. I am a fantastic listener. I can sense someone’s and an achievements energy and get a sense of who they are intuitively
    2. I have a empathetic heart ♥️ and people love that about me
    3. I am ambitious! When I want something, I work hard to make it happen
    4. I made it into our schools despite my parents working against me. I am a fighter
    5. I’ve built a brand. People know me for my compassion and passion for wellness ♥️
    6. I’m conscientious. I always make sure I’m on top of my school work, expensive, errands, friendships – responsible and aware.
    7. I GRADUATED FROM SCHOOL! 22 years of my life in academia and now I’m free.
    8. I am so much more mentally resilient than I was a year ago. Surrender and flexibility is a strength.
    9. My strength is moving on
    10. My curiosity and hunger for development

A tribe called bliss #5: fierce boundaries

    • Have open communication about what you will, and won’t except. How it makes you feel is important! Shove your FEELINGS!
    • “I don’t want to resent you. This is why I am so setting the boundary, so we can maintain a good relationship.”

Lori’s Scripts are GOLDEN! Communicate your needs lovingly and ask for their support —> in this way you’re also elevating them to be capable of/accountable to for example, make sure they ask you questions to so you get equal time to talk. It gives them responsibility and power instead of degrading them. ♥️ That’s powerful.

This chapter got me to look at all my relationships —> am I holding any sort of resentment in them?

If so, it’s time to communicate that.

Boundaries I will set:

With social media:

I appreciate that you take the time to write with me. I’m sure you have a good intentions, and I’d like to clear up that I am detoxing from skepticism, negative feedback, doubts, hate, and concerns from outside people at this time. I would love for you to keep those comments or remarks privately with yourself instead of in the public. In return I would do the same for you. Thank you for respecting my decision! I wish you all the best.

With negative friends:

I treasure the time we have together and wanted to be the happiest possible when we are together. could we keep each other accountable to indulging in what’s beautiful/good in our conversations from now on? I’d feel more happy being with you and chatting with you leaving together on a high note.


What I gain by setting this boundary is no ICKY feeling towards anyone in my relationships. I would feel lighter with no resentment towards others and also myself (for tolerating their crossing of my boundaries).  I gain respect for myself, and respect from others. I up my value and up there’s by empowering them to be capable of navigating redirections/a boundary.

What I’m willing to lose are those who are not meant for me. Those that I will always misunderstand, cast doubt, hate, or send unfavourable comments. I’m willing to lose the fear of being disliked. I’m willing to lose relationships that don’t nourish me – like a tree with dead branches. I remove those so the nutrients can be received by the leaves and branches that are ALIVE. I get crystal clear and tuned into the frequency I want to attract.

When situations that trigger me come up next time, I communicate them sooner, if not, the very minute, rather than later and nip the bud. My response will always be that of loving, and elevate a sort of teamwork/cooperation.

People-pleasing superpowers:

    • You feel deeply! Your emotional capacity is at large. You see beauty in things people overlook.
    • You show up for people whole heartedly
    • You have an open heart, and people feel at ease with that.
    • You are a light worker, a healer, and helper. We are the healers of the world. We are going to connect and heal humanity, and all the hurt in the world

Lean in to all of life’s emotions, give yourself permission to lean into whatever feeling is there. By not trying to avoid negative feelings, we allow ourselves to feel more deeply and engage more with life, this stops us from numbing (because when we numb the bad, we also numb the good), and then we are able to be more open to receiving and leaning into joy as well.

Affirmation: “I allow this feeling to be here, I welcome you. Please sit with me and keep me company and I allow you to be here. Hi hello. I see you. I feel you. Its’ okay to be here.

Aura: like a pet dog.

You’re always welcome back. My door’s open. I know I’ve been pushing you away and I know you’ll come at the right time. Be gentle with me and I’ll be gentle with you.”

When you have notes-to-self, do you put it on your phone? Write it down? Post a sticky?