It happened! It finally happened.
A year ago, I read A Tribe Called Bliss by Lori Harder. I kept this book in my drawer, close to my heart and journaled about the day I would be gifted with the right people to start this book club, that is SO MUCH MORE than just a book club. It’s a girl tribe. It’s a way to find your soul sisters and have deep conversations.
Have you ever met someone and felt like you connected on so many topics, and wanted to have meaningful conversation that ignite a fire in your heart? Those people inspire me to live bigger, dream wilder, and be authentically me. It feels like coming home; how simple it is to be myself and not have to try hard to be liked. In fact, it’s those social relationships that give me more energy and I don’t feel like I need hours after to recharge alone.
This is that type of book to do just that.
(By the way, here are Other books you should check out that I LOVE LOVE LOVE.)
Meeting 1: Trust and Authenticity.
I totally resonated with Lori when she said “I was raised to put other’s feelings and wants before mine; to not hurt anyone’s feelings”. I was taught that respect did not have to be earned (especially for elders)–you just had to, whether you liked to or not.
I was taught to “go out of my way to make others comfortable, to sacrifice my ideas, self-worth, time, desires, and voice. Asian culture is about not “losing face”. That meant stretch the truth, telling white lies, playing small, making sure people liked me, that my “reputation was in good standing.” I had to be on the lookout for backstabbers. People don’t mean what they say, and the world is a fearful, dishonest place.
“If I want anything, it’s going to cost us time, energy, money, health, or peace of mind.” This couldn’t be further from the truth. The truth is–there is enough abundance EVERYWHERE. Your success is not my competition. Our success IS MY SUCCESS. It doesn’t COST me anything to have what I want, but rather it adds to the multitude of what I already have! My wealth, which is my soul, money, health and vitality grow abundantly and exponentially; it does not have to be taken away at the expense of gaining something else. There is room for everyone. There is always a better solution allowing itself to come through if you just open the doors.
You don’t have to know how. You just have to take the next aligned action and have the FAITH that a new part of your soul is being unlocked. Stay open to magic–stay open to the perceived impossible. Shine your lighthouse through the fog that is doubt, and know that you’re attracting a ship out there.
Wayne Dyer said, “When you trust in yourself, you trust in the very wisdom that created you.”
“When you trust in yourself, you trust in the very wisdom that created you.”
Meeting 2: Expectations.
Every person has a designated role in our lives–1 person cannot be everything to us. They cannot be a lover, helper, mentor, assistant, AND mother, for example. So, stop expecting them to be someone they’re not! Set them free; release them to show up just as they are; their own authentic selves.
My big pet peeve is flakey people. You know, those people that say yes in person and then when things get serious and you reach out, they’re hard to reach, they don’t answer, they come up with excuses to not meet up. But…what if she’s not ready to show up as the person you expect her ot be? What if she fears that you expect more time and energy than she’s ready to give” What is she overcommits herself, has a hard time saying no and is working on stating her boundaries? (Sounds a lot like yourself sometimes, no?)
Everyone is on their own spiritual journey. Let them show up to be who they’re ready to be in your life. The universe will only give you them when they’re ready.
I’m no longer going to constrain myself to this small box anymore; it never fitted me. The more I connect with people that are bigger than life, the more alive I feel inside, and the more authentic I become.
Something to consistently ask myself is, “Am I following my truth? Or am I denying my soul?”
In what situations am I censoring myself?
- With parents?
- At work with bosses and coworkers?(gossip, for example)
- On social media? (unflattering photos, for example)
- …and WHAT IF I sowed up with my true self?
I quickly realized that some people only loved me WITH contingencies and clung to an inauthentic version of me. I release them from m circle so I can have more space for the people that love me for me.
I remember when I lost my job back in July 2019. It hit me so hard, and the circumstances were unfair. I knew I did nothing to deserve it, and I’ve been manipulated and lied to by the management. In the beginning I was so hopeful; I was promised more hours, $20/h eventually as a manager, and the possibility to be a practitioner as a health coach/yoga instructor there as well. It was a huge expectation smackdown from the universe when the doors closed. I relapsed…hard.
But looking back, it was a huge blessing to leave. I was set free from a toxic boss I knew didn’t deserve the great work I put in. They wouldn’t serve me.
I am free.
All in all, I am so thankful to have to book. I cannot wait to use it again and again, perhaps once every 3 years to see how my answers vary, and with different people.
Have you ever been a part of a girl club? Or book club? What are you currently reading?