So, here’s what I didn’t tell you for a year–I didn’t know how at first, but now I just see the whole thing as a blessing in disguise; for it is the best case scenario.
In fact, it is probably one of the best things to happen; because I no longer was tied down to visiting every month in a setting that didn’t serve me with people that brought me down.
The day my father and I had our final rift, I was upset, but I numbed that out with a lot of eating and fidgeting. I didn’t know how to process it and so I didn’t; but looking back, I was processing it in my own way–with time. Time heals all, as cliche as that sounds. Time brings upon forgiveness and grace for everyone and everything; even yourself.
I don’t hold strong grudges towards my dad; I know he is doing what he thinks is best. To this day, we don’t talk, but I am willing to let go of poisonous thoughts towards him. Why? Well, how does that serve me if I’m feeding myself negative vibes about him? It doesn’t. I cut the cord between myself and him and let his bubble drift off like a cloud passing by in my head.
Granted, if he were a regular part of my life I am almost positive he would trigger me so I’m glad he’s not, and this gives me the grace to forgive him completely. It’s still a work in progress; I admit.
Do you hold any negative vibes? Have you had to cut cords with anyone?