Ways We Try to Control

“I am at Peace, Thanks to my Trust in the Universe.”

Hello  m’fitties!

The internet at my school is (actually) better than the wifi at home. I’m blogging away at a standing desk while uploading media files here instead of at home because it tells me that it’ll take 265 days to upload my 1, less-than-1-GB file onto drive whereas here it says it’ll take 30 minutes.

Gosh, I’m just terrible with technology for some reason. My phone, my laptop, the wifi…


I subscribe to a few spiritual gurus. Today I’m inspired to share with you these wise words from Gabrielle Bernstein, author of “The Universe Has Your Back” (one of the greatest books I’ve ever read this year):

We have different ways of trying to control our lives. Some people know they have “control freak” tendencies (like me) whereas others have a harder time understanding that they, too, try to control.

Some of the ways we try to control include…

  • Being so committed to a goal or outcome that we bulldoze everything in order to achieve it
  • Scheduling and planning every detail of our days
  • Trying to “fix” other people or get them to see and do things our way, instead of accepting them for who they are
  • Numbing out with drugs, alcohol, work, sex, self-destructive actions and other addictive patterns — this is a sneaky way of controlling because you’re trying to control your mood or avoid feelings or situations that scare you
  • Praying for certain outcomes instead of praying for the highest good for all

 This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is btreeIMAGE.jpgThis. This. This.

This is so accurate. Often I also find myself thinking, rethinking, calculating, recalculating what I know to be true as if the more I ruminate on it the more it will change–it will not. What is, is. The truth is, if I’ve already spent the past 20 minutes going over all possibilities, the next 20 minutes won’t change a thing if I keep thinking about it over and over. It’s mentally taxing and taking away from me living in the present moment. I do this so much with scheduling!

from this to this time ill be here, and then from this to time is the transition period so if i take this bus i can walk here and then at the same time bangout dropping off this thing at the local donation center and then and then and then…

I often schedule things back to back and leave no time in between for mental clarity. I  bring in the mental residue from the last task into the current one. That’s something to change this year–giving myself more grace and transition periods between places to be/things to do. Instead of maximizing a day by doing as many things as humanly possible, I schedule 1-2 major things to get done, do them, and rest up the rest of the day.

In the past, I’ve also turned to binge eating as a coping mechanism (hint: not. very. effective.)

Which of the ways listed above do you try to use to control? What things do you try to control?