I’ve always known what I wanted to do since grade 9. I wanted to acting, sing, and dance, and do something fitness-related. I also know that if you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans.
Well, God must’ve been sh*ttin’ his pants at me this year because boy oh boy, did things take a turn. The unimaginable happened; and I left the acting conservatory.
I’m not cookie cutter. I was not made to fit the mould of that program, but for a while it tore me apart because I felt so lost, so betrayed, and so angry. My vision doesn’t change; I still know what I want, but it wasn’t the path I thought I would take. Instead of doing straightforward, I was meant to take an alternative one. It’s got mountains, it’s got rivers, it’s got sights that make you shiver…(but it should would be prettier with you…the cup song, anybody?) I’m embracing the journey.
Recently, I’ve been approached with this question from a fitty:
“Hi Linda,
I feel really pressured and stressed at the prospect of my future. I know it’s something everyone entering adulthood goes through, but I just keep doubting my decisions. My ultimate goal in life is to do something I love and something dynamic. So that I’m not living my life in exact same boring routine every day. I am a curious, energetic person and I tend to lose focus easily if I get bored with something. I put so much energy into getting into medical school so I could study pharmacy, but, truthfully, it never would’ve been a choice for me if not for the fact that nothing else I’d come up with was a good move career-wise in my country. As I said, we are quite undeveloped compared to the larger European countries and unemployment is unavoidable if I don’t either count on moving away or settle for a career where my heart isn’t in it.
Working in an apothecary? My heart’s not in that in the slightest. So many people question my decision but then they tell me I’m crazy if I want to change my mind now. It’s all so overwhelming and it pressures me so much to think that I’m gonna go down the wrong path and be miserable later for the choices I’ve made now. I thought it was just the stress of finishing high school that had gotten me into a devastating mental state, but as college looms nearer I fear I might just be stressed because I realize, deep down, that the decision I made . . . my heart’s not in it. And that makes me scared too, because I feel like it’s too late to back down now.
You are a few years ahead of me. I wonder if you have any words of wisdom, as I’m sure you’ve had your fair share on the matter.”
(and yes, if you’re wondering, I did get permission to share this)
I realize that not everyone was blessed with knowing exactly what they wanted out of life the way I was at such a young age. A lot of us followed traditional paths our parents want. I mean, for a while, I thought for sure I wanted to be a doctor because it seemed like this almighty, happy-go-lucky, financially-abundant dream, but as biology class progressed in high school, my heart was dying. I couldn’t see myself continuing down this path and didn’t take science in my last two years of high school. Thank goodness it was optional.
Enter the self identity crisis for us millennials.
Enter the revolution of entrepreneurs.
Enter the revolution that women are waiting longer before settling down to have kids.
There’s this notion in society that by age 22 we’re done with post secondary school, we’re expected to work full time in a field pertaining to our degree, and by the age of 30 have settled down, married, bought a house, start having kids.
There’s too many things I still want to do.
Ummmm I’m 21 and I’ve only ever had 1 romantic relationship (that was not even official/serious); I’m not thinking about kids (I DON’T HAVE TIME FOR A DOG;Â DO YOU THINK I WANT A CHILD?!) and to be quite frank I don’t see myself stopping the momentum of my life coaching and wellness/yoga business anytime soon. I’m glad that I’m not in a relationship at the moment because I don’t have enough time!
I replied,
Hi _____,
Thanks for being so brave to share this with me. The process of not know what to do and who you are can be shattering. I knew my world was shatter this year when I left the acting conservatory; something I thought I would never do.
Based on your interests in working with me, I would suggestion Graphic design, Communication studies (public relations) and/or film production!
And it’s TOTALLY OKAY to not go to post secondary right after high school because you’re not sure what you want yet. Take a year off, discover yourself, maybe travel and do some self-discovery.
Ultimately, it’s important to ask yourself, “What would I do for FREE? What do I find myself losing track of time with because I’m in such a state of flow the whole world disappears? What activities makes my heart happy?” It’s important to reflect on these questions in terms of not JOBS but rather activities.
I hope this helps!
Sincerely,
Linda.
What would I do for FREE? What do I find myself losing track of time with because I’m in such a state of flow the whole world disappears?
Take out a journal and write down those answers. Share them with me by snapshotting it on instagram and tagging @thefitty, and I’ll give you some love and feedback 🙂
So…what activities make you happy? What did you want to be when you grew up?
**If you’d like to work with me, I offer one-on-one life coaching and also personal training plans. I help women live the life they dream by helping them step into their highest, most vibrant selves; uncovering limiting beliefs and habits that hold them back.
Email me at thefittyblog@gmail.com!
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