As I write this, it is a Sunday night (and I’ll probably finish writing it by Wednesday afternoon), and I’m feeling really slow. My legs are heavy for no apparent reason(might’ve been the kung pao takeout I ate yesterday; I’m also really puffy today); my mind is at peace right now and I finished my last session with a coach. I’m sad that it’s over; but there’s a new beginning for everything and there’s always the possibility of starting something with her again.
The devils number. ? it just so happened that that’s the number I landed on.
Hello my fitties! How are you doing? Lately I’ve been doing a bit of soul-searching and I’ve been obsessed with the idea of do it yourself arts and crafts, and have been looking for a penpal for the summer!
I love the concept of sending homemade things, giving gifts and also receiving gifts.
At the same time, i’ve been feeling a little bit lost on my fitness game, and I don’t know if that’s because this past week I’ve been sick, the end of the school year catching up to me, the seasonal changes (im highly sensitive to my environment) or a combination of just I don’t know. It feels really hard because I feel like I’m losing a part of my self-identity without Fitness! ? I don’t know who I am without my passion, I don’t know who I am without the thing that’s been driving me for so many years.
At the same time, I’m entertaining the possibility of new spiritual growth. I’m tired of chasing a lot of the things I’ve been chasing, I’m tired of beating myself up over nonsense, feeling guilt, and I’m longing to travel. There is something exciting waiting to manifest behind the fear.
I’ll keep you updated on how I’m doing emotionally and spiritually, but for now keep me in your prayers, and keep me in your thoughts for your Yoga practices! ??✨ How are y’all doing?
The wifi isn’t working at home so I’m blogging from the on-campus starbucks.
It’s quite a blessing to not be plugged in! Granted, I still had access to my phone which had data, but for the first time in a really long time, I turned off the data this morning and decided to go about my day not engaging on the interwebs as much as I usually do. I didn’t completely go without electronics (like I will sometime on an official planned detox), but being without wifi is a wonderful start. I listened for a podcast on regular speed as opposed to watching youtube videos while eating (a first step towards mindful eating),
So that brings me to step 1:
1. Do a tech detox
It made me think; what can you do without technology? When did it become essential to have wifi in our lives? As a social media influencer, youtuber and blogger, I am HUGE with wifi. We are like, besties. But I also need a serious break from her. #TogetherButIndependent. We all need a break from the interwebs; I mean, not too long ago the human race was constantly engage in each other, in nature, and in communities. We weren’t sitting in from of a screen, stagnant and sedentary!
Without wifi, I find myself staring into space more often, looking outside and longing to be with nature more. I have the want to connect with my higher self and vibrate at a higher spiritual frequency. I want to engage with nature and also talk with strangers. I want to give more, live more, be more, observe more. Explore more. I feel so much more human.
2. Engage in some movement.
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Hello my fitties! • •• ••• 💪Barbell chest presses. I swear to goodness, every time I do 3 sets of 20, my chest is sore the next day. • •• ••• If your push-ups are feeling a little lackluster and you still want to work your chest, I highly suggest this exercise! It's like doing push ups on your back. • •• ••• On another note, I'm not feeling so hot today I think I've come down with the flu and or fever, something similar to what I had yesterday. I'm staying in bed and resting up because I honestly cannot get out get up! Wish me a quick recovery, because I have a show coming up this week and I need to be well for it :-(😖
Move the lymphatic system; the physical body is very much connected to the emotional body and one can stimulate the other. Sometimes, what you need is a different sort of movement (aka if you’re used to crossfit, maybe try some yoga, or maybe if you’re used to gentle exercise, try something stimulating like HIIT!). I remember last year when I went through a depressive episode, my body literally bloated and my face puffed up like a squirrel. It was insane–nothing was different. My eating and exercise were the same but I felt emotionally completely empty, drained, and physically it made me feel tired and heavy in the legs–I gained about 6 pounds.
Here’s a full playlist of all the follow-along exercise videos I have. Most are only 9 minutes long!
Not to mention, exercise boosts endorphins, which are happy hormones. Happier = better/less difficult transitions. 🙂
Try out this morning yoga routine to set a good mood for the rest of the day:
3. Give yourself ample time to transition.
We often think transitions should be brief–they are not. IN fact that can teeter between days to months to YEARS. However long it takes, allow it to happen because the worst thing you can do is try to hurry it up–it’s only going to prolong the transitional process. Why? Because you’re not letting yourself go from point A to point B. You;re trying to look for a shortcut that doesn’t exist.
Sometimes we give ourselves not enough time to adjust to the new settings. For me, I know that I’m a highly sensitive person. That means little changes in the environment such as background noise, seasonal changes, even the vibrations I sense with someone’s silent presence affect me on a subconscious level. We need time to adjust. Just because someone looks okay on the outside, doesn’t mean they’re not working hard on the inside. My movement teacher taught me that sometimes it’s hard work just to focus on breathing.
4. Be gentle with yourself.
Lastly, you are doing so well. You are alive, you have wifi, you have the capacity to read, write, move, and think. Trust that the universe has you carried in its arms…
Sometimes we take 1 step forward and 5 steps back. That’s okay.
Sometimes we give ourselves a command and don’t follow through. It’s not that we are lazy or undisciplined.
Sometimes it’s okay to not be okay. And it’s okay to not find out why things are the way the are. They just…are.
YOU ARE ONLY DOING THE BEST THAT YOU CAN IN THIS GIVEN TIME, IN THIS GIVEN SITUATION. Hating yourself through it is not that way through! “Should”-ing yourself through it only creates more shame and guilt and will not work in the long run. Only love will work in the long run. Only love sustains. So love this moment, no matter how hard it is. Love it because one day you’ll look back and see how far you’ve come, and your heart will be filled with the grace and gratitude you couldn’t fathom at the present moment. Love it because you have somewhere to grow from this.
This is a brief moment in time. ✨
So, if you’re happy, treasure it. ?
If you’re sad take solace in knowing it won’t last.?
Choose to make today the best it can be.
What’s holding you back from your highest self? What is one big scary change you’re going through or have gone through? What’s one thing you’re PROUD of overcoming? Talk to me–and if you’re struggling, never hesitate to email me at [email protected] just to chat.