Progress Update | The Private Diary of an Actress in Training

Hello M’fitties!

Halloween is over, that means…



I START PLAYING CHRISTMAS MUSIC FOR THE NEXT YEAR AS EARLY AS THE DAY RIGHT AFTER CHRISTMAS. (364 Days early). Yes, I’m totally, utterly, notoriously, obnoxiously obsessed with Christmas.

And if I had my own property and all the riches, I’d be decorating my house with stockings and blasting carols with a boombox set up on my chimney next to a flashing sign that points down the chimney saying, “ENTER HERE”.

I also would leave a balut egg instead of cookies for Santa.

hard boiled balut egg

Yes, I’ve tried it, and it’s my favourite egg of all time.

So, what’s been happening recently in terms of school? Ya’ll know I study acting. Each time I’ve told someone, I’ve been met with the response, “that’s so cool!”

And it is.



As I’ve mentioned previously, as part of my assignment in school, it’s imperative that we keep a journal for certain classes documenting our discoveries and reflect on ourselves of our emotions, habits, patterns, and thoughts. Throughout the year, we are expected to hand them in periodically to our teachers, and here’s the one I handed in just a few weeks ago.

Since then, followups are handed in every few weeks documenting the discoveries we make about ourselves, problems/setbacks, and then followup actions (of course, to solve the problems). As you can see–lots of reflection and introspection! To act, one must become familiar with themselves.



  • I tend to play with 1 verb a lot throughout a monologue and instead, to give it variety I could sprinkle in some other verbs/tones as well to make it more interesting (Sept 15)
  • I only have two periods in my monologue. Period usually signify a statement, fact, or something that the character is very certain in; whereas commas and semi-colons usually represent a forming thought and/or are feeling-driven (Sept 19)
  • No matter how many times I memorize a line or scene, if I do it a different way, I’ll always be slightly thrown off-key since I’m not used to it (Sept 22)
  • It’s really easy for me to access sadness but harder for me to access happiness. I know the exact triggers for the former but the latter feels a little more forced. (Sept 24)
  • I’m a different type of person that won’t get along with the party, extroverted crowd, and that is okay. I used to feel like an alien and criticized myself for being different but I’m seeing the beauty I have in my value for sentimentality and introversion. (Sept 25)
  • There’s a HUGE opportunity to playing the type of character that is totally opposite to you. I wanted to play Jasmine in Carried Away, but instead I got RICK. I was SHOCKED and repelled at first but then the more I think about it, the more excited I got. I get to play something totally out of my element and discover another side to myself I’ve never known. (Sept 29)
  • I learn a lot by just watching others go up—and I can take others’ notes and apply them to myself. I’ve learned quite a few methods for helping with certain issues(for example, singing monotone each and every single line in a monologue so that I’m not dropping the end of my sentences) (Oct 4)


  • I tend to play frustration a lot, and even though I saw my Desdemona monologue as naggy, I could also play with the intention of being seductive, playful, etc. Swinging to the right instead of the left all the time.
  • I tend to muscle my way thorugh to results. I feel like every single tactic SHOULD be working on me, and when it feels like the approach is not breaking through, I blame myself a lot for it, when it could be just that there is a better technique for my learning, or that in that particular time, place, and mood, it wasn’t resonating with me and it’s not my fault. I can come back and try again later. Not everything will turn out to be a huge enlightening moment for me and that is OKAY. It just feels really bad at the moment but that doesn’t mean I’m a bad actress.


  • I plan to access my right side emotions more readily so I have more emotional variance/availability
  • Try attributing negative thoughts/emotions/circumstances to outside sources instead of internally all the time. I think I am too critical of myself and that brings down a lot of confidence. I self-sabotage a lot.

Follow Up Actions

  • Dance to an upbeat song 3 TIMES a week sometime throughout the day (probably 1st thing in the morning to help me access an upbeat, optimistic trigger for happy emotions)
  • Journal 3 things I’m grateful for 3 times a week at the end of the day
  • Journal 3 things I’m looking forward to in the morning 3 times a week.

To be very honest, I didn’t do any of the followup actions. Life got too busy and I also completely forgot about them–I had other tasks to prioritize, like the show I performed in!

backstage show Y3 selfie

acting class Y3 carried away on the crest of a wave

We had a blast.

And it was so dramatic backstage (more details on that another day).

And I would honestly share my second progress report, but my prof hasn’t marked that one yet so I’m not going to publicize it.

And oh, another thing–I binge watched Stranger Things season 2. OMGERRRRR.



Keeping up with my fitness and food. It was so challenging during this time because I had rehearsals Mondays-Fridays 6-10pm, Saturdays 10-6pm, and then classes on top of that and work; but I still made a huge effort to keeping myself in balance. I found that the routine has been incredibly helpful in grounding myself during crazy, hectic times:


Do not. Tell me. Salad. Is out. Of season.

Do not.


And fall is just so perfect for running. I’m in love.


Does anyone else get a little tiny bit OCD with their watch?

What things do you get a little OCD about? Have you watched Stranger Things? How do you like your eggs cooked? What’s the last live show you attended? Do you run in the fall? Answer me in one word! (<–Shakespeare As You Like It Joke)